This last weekend was a long one, thanks to the May day public holiday and my hubby-to-be was in town. For those of us in Geographically-challenged relationships, we look forward to times together with a lot of anticipation and fill up all our spare time with time-together times!
Well this weekend was FULL. From chomping on chicken together, to just driving around the island & talking & talking & praying, attending counselling sessions together - there was a lot of that!
Ok. lemme break this down and squeeze out the lessons I learnt from all of this.
Its compulsory to attend counselling sessions at the church where we are to be married and this sundays topic was Love in Marriage.
It was revealing and I guess the most important fact was Love is COMMITMENT, Love is SACRIFICE and Love is Forgiving!
Another counselling session we attended was with a mutual family friend. A pastor for many years whose passion is Marriage. He has written a book on marriages and is very passionate about Christian marriages.
The first thing we learnt, going through the 2nd chapter in Genesis was that Marriage is God's idea. Also, Christian marriages (marriages based on God's word) are scarce and the devil likes to attack Christian homes because attacks on the famiy result in widespread disaster.
On the purpose of marriage, he stated that in the order of imporatance, they are :
1. Heart-to-heart fellowship.
2. Sexual satisfaction and enjoyment without sin
3. Procreation.
yes and in that order!
I had a full and most fulfilling weekend!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Worry Not!! - two
Several things have helped me spring back up and get excited about my wedding preparations. First is the expectation of getting married at last after all..............
Its been a long journey (maybe shorter than some), 3 years and 7 months is gradually and will eventually become 3 years 9 months 2 weeks and 2 days of being 'engaged*' to the most wonderful guy. I am truly looking forward to 'starting life' with him.
Like a dear friend of mine says, when you look back and see what you've passed through and what has passed through you ;) you really look forward to the end of the journey as it where.
Ok, the next thing is a loving community of friends. Just when I was beginning to think that perhaps new friends are better than the old, my old friends have called, given of their time, energy and resources to help me. I was in Eko market last week saturday with a lovely friend who literally walked all over the place with me. Was amazed by all her energy....
Praying is not the last on this list but is certainly at the TOP. Praying with Ibukun has been wonderful. Truly when 2 or 3 of you agree - it is done! Its vital and life-giving and God answers prayers..........call me for LIVE testimonies!!!
Its been a long journey (maybe shorter than some), 3 years and 7 months is gradually and will eventually become 3 years 9 months 2 weeks and 2 days of being 'engaged*' to the most wonderful guy. I am truly looking forward to 'starting life' with him.
Like a dear friend of mine says, when you look back and see what you've passed through and what has passed through you ;) you really look forward to the end of the journey as it where.
Ok, the next thing is a loving community of friends. Just when I was beginning to think that perhaps new friends are better than the old, my old friends have called, given of their time, energy and resources to help me. I was in Eko market last week saturday with a lovely friend who literally walked all over the place with me. Was amazed by all her energy....
Praying is not the last on this list but is certainly at the TOP. Praying with Ibukun has been wonderful. Truly when 2 or 3 of you agree - it is done! Its vital and life-giving and God answers prayers..........call me for LIVE testimonies!!!
Worry Not!
It's been a little overwhelming these past two weeks. I've been down and up, down and up again. The reasons are many but the lessons many more.Thank God for His mercies and grace and for friends. Truly Prayer works and is power. I got to church about 3 sundays ago to find out about the approved program only to discover that the hall we had 'supposedly' booked since January had been given to another group. I grew frantic at first and finally talked to myself - the worst that could happen was getting another hall, which is what has eventually happened.I worried myself silly while the search was on but truly God is in control and its true like His word says, 'you cannot add an inch or change a thing (my paraphrase) by worrying'Its amazing that a verse Ibk and I decided to hold on to right at the beginning was Phil 4 v 6. which says Do not be anxious about anything but with everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known unto God. I wish I had remembered this verse, sadly I worried first and prayed later........blabbing....lesson learnt from the change of reception venue apart from Do not worry is Follow up!!!! Be sure to see your contracts in black and white! especially because this is Nigeria.I will break this up into 2 , so this is Part One!
Monday, April 10, 2006
...And the dam burst!!!
....I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I wonder how many weepy brides to be per wedding exist. Well I think I'm one.
Got to the alaso-oke (the lady making the traditional cloth for our engagement ceremony) late on Saturday evening to ask her for a sample of the cloth to make my beads. As I went in and greeted her, she just turned on me and ordered me out of her compound for choosing to come late. She was quite rude and went on and on, saying she did not care why I came bla bla bla. Without a word, I turned round and left. Her girls quickly ran after me to call me back, by this time my eyes were brimming with tears threatening to spill.
They apologised quickly and tried to explain away the BAD behaviour of their madam. I had had a long , hot, tiring and unorganised day and I had had it up to my neck with details and stuff. So her outburst just made me 'crack'.
After trying to unsuccessfully wipe my tears, they told me I could pick up the cloth for the agbada, (which wasn't what I came for!) It was a nice surprise and it really came out very nice. That cheered me up a bit.....
Moral of the story: You'll meet cranky old women, rude sales people, unexpected delays, from a teary bride 2 be.....Cry if u need to , you'll feel better!
Also don't take it to heart... and laugh at yourself later............Have Fun!
Got to the alaso-oke (the lady making the traditional cloth for our engagement ceremony) late on Saturday evening to ask her for a sample of the cloth to make my beads. As I went in and greeted her, she just turned on me and ordered me out of her compound for choosing to come late. She was quite rude and went on and on, saying she did not care why I came bla bla bla. Without a word, I turned round and left. Her girls quickly ran after me to call me back, by this time my eyes were brimming with tears threatening to spill.
They apologised quickly and tried to explain away the BAD behaviour of their madam. I had had a long , hot, tiring and unorganised day and I had had it up to my neck with details and stuff. So her outburst just made me 'crack'.
After trying to unsuccessfully wipe my tears, they told me I could pick up the cloth for the agbada, (which wasn't what I came for!) It was a nice surprise and it really came out very nice. That cheered me up a bit.....
Moral of the story: You'll meet cranky old women, rude sales people, unexpected delays, from a teary bride 2 be.....Cry if u need to , you'll feel better!
Also don't take it to heart... and laugh at yourself later............Have Fun!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
A network of brides2be!
Just thought back on all my preparations and discovered that it's been helpful getting information (and sharing as well) from other brides to be. A lot of this has been via email and proxy (other friends) but its been useful, very useful.
I've been able to share my concerns and get useful vendor info from other ladies in my shoes. One of them just finished with the Courts yesterday, I've never met her or even spoken with her but have communicated through a friend but it hit me yesterday that her wrapping up details (she's getting married about 2months before me) signals the fact that I have a few days left as well before I walk down the aisle.
A scary thought ;)? Well not really just makes me realize that the time is SHORT! And I need to work harder or rest more or quickly put on more weight so I don't look like a Bridezilla in my gown.Get a bride network! It'll help! Useful information, vendor addresses, gifts (my dear friends paid for my wedding shoes) & a lot of encouragement to keep walking!
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Proverbs 19:21 " Many are the thoughts of a man's heart but only the counsel of the Lord shall stand"
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Proverbs 19:21 " Many are the thoughts of a man's heart but only the counsel of the Lord shall stand"
Friday, March 24, 2006
It's not easy O!
I promised to keep this as upbeat as possible and I'm keeping to my promise so please do not be discouraged by the header.
Truly I had heard that wedding preps take up A LOT OF TIME, ENERGY, everything u have to give it. I didnt listen too closely cos I imagined mine would be a lot different, like paradise. Suffice to say I was wrong.
I've started a day of running around with a high energy level determined to have all the things on my list ticked off at the end of the day. However, I've returned home depleted accomplishing very little or nothing at all.
Have it at the back of your mind that it will not be easy but also equip yourself with tools to make the journey as smooth as it can get!
1. Pray before you leave the house - for God's help 'cos without Him you can achieve nada!
2. Delegate, get friends to do the running around with you! Friends with cars or someone to drive you around are a must-get!
3. Talk over your plans with people you trust. You'll get loads of advice and very useful tips too...
4. Get as much information as you can via email, websites, GSM before you go running around. A phonecall can help you get 'gold' from Ghana ;) saving you hours of stress!
4b. Also friends who have gone this way before will give u invaluable advice, where you can get things at lovely rates (without compromising on quality!)
5. Relax & take it easy, Have fun as you go along - I'll suggest spreading in between your days (i had only weekends) of running around days of JUST FUN with friends. You'll relax and be recharged to do the running around.
6. Get your hubby-to-be to run around with you. Yeah! you might think its the gals' territory only when you go to book/get some items. When I went to book for my gown he was around(I had gone before without him) and I had a nice time trying to hide the pix of the gown from him & to book our aso-oke too.
You'll have the advantage of seeing things from a different perspective and hey! it's his wedding too!
Truly I had heard that wedding preps take up A LOT OF TIME, ENERGY, everything u have to give it. I didnt listen too closely cos I imagined mine would be a lot different, like paradise. Suffice to say I was wrong.
I've started a day of running around with a high energy level determined to have all the things on my list ticked off at the end of the day. However, I've returned home depleted accomplishing very little or nothing at all.
Have it at the back of your mind that it will not be easy but also equip yourself with tools to make the journey as smooth as it can get!
1. Pray before you leave the house - for God's help 'cos without Him you can achieve nada!
2. Delegate, get friends to do the running around with you! Friends with cars or someone to drive you around are a must-get!
3. Talk over your plans with people you trust. You'll get loads of advice and very useful tips too...
4. Get as much information as you can via email, websites, GSM before you go running around. A phonecall can help you get 'gold' from Ghana ;) saving you hours of stress!
4b. Also friends who have gone this way before will give u invaluable advice, where you can get things at lovely rates (without compromising on quality!)
5. Relax & take it easy, Have fun as you go along - I'll suggest spreading in between your days (i had only weekends) of running around days of JUST FUN with friends. You'll relax and be recharged to do the running around.
6. Get your hubby-to-be to run around with you. Yeah! you might think its the gals' territory only when you go to book/get some items. When I went to book for my gown he was around(I had gone before without him) and I had a nice time trying to hide the pix of the gown from him & to book our aso-oke too.
You'll have the advantage of seeing things from a different perspective and hey! it's his wedding too!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
100 on d dot!
Its actually a 100days to go! Today has been like a whirlwind!!!!!!!!! going back and forth forth and back like a trains engine.I've thought of the future - of course I cant see that far! but I've thought and imagined and prayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyed! God help me, God be with me!This is one of the days when I've had to reaffirm and ask if i know what I'm doing! Truly I don't. I just know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing at this time. I'm on the right path with God's light leading the way and that's enough for now.
I'm thinking of my single days and how they are gradually coming to an end and I'm wondering and tutoring myself, trying to change my orientation, making myself realise that in a few days, I'll have to get out of bed and make breakfast or COOK breakfast if my love prefers akara to bread! ;) instead of jumping out of my bed and out of the house!
I'm starting to learn to think for two. I know I cant do that properly until I start the marriage school proper, right now I'm registering for my courses ;). Writing is helping me release some emotions and I'm actually smiling. I've lived a selfish life up till this moment (well maybe not entirely) but I'm going to have to start thinking of balanced meals for my family & not indomie! Waow! ain't I grown up?
Anyway more seriously now...I'm thinking that this next stage of my life is going to open up more doors than I could ever have imagined, more opportunities, etc. A whole new vista is before me and as I gasp at the enormity of it all, I am quick to remind God to be with me as He always has, to lead me , to teach me, to hold my hand.Help me not be foolish, help me to build my home and not tear it down, Help me be a loving wife and mother, Help me LOVE and SUBMIT to my husband-to-be, help me do the things I need to do, help me learn (very quickly too) from my mistakes and avoid making new ones (Is that possible?). This is a new land, a new venture, a new LIFE! Please Lord Help me. AMEN
I'm thinking of my single days and how they are gradually coming to an end and I'm wondering and tutoring myself, trying to change my orientation, making myself realise that in a few days, I'll have to get out of bed and make breakfast or COOK breakfast if my love prefers akara to bread! ;) instead of jumping out of my bed and out of the house!
I'm starting to learn to think for two. I know I cant do that properly until I start the marriage school proper, right now I'm registering for my courses ;). Writing is helping me release some emotions and I'm actually smiling. I've lived a selfish life up till this moment (well maybe not entirely) but I'm going to have to start thinking of balanced meals for my family & not indomie! Waow! ain't I grown up?
Anyway more seriously now...I'm thinking that this next stage of my life is going to open up more doors than I could ever have imagined, more opportunities, etc. A whole new vista is before me and as I gasp at the enormity of it all, I am quick to remind God to be with me as He always has, to lead me , to teach me, to hold my hand.Help me not be foolish, help me to build my home and not tear it down, Help me be a loving wife and mother, Help me LOVE and SUBMIT to my husband-to-be, help me do the things I need to do, help me learn (very quickly too) from my mistakes and avoid making new ones (Is that possible?). This is a new land, a new venture, a new LIFE! Please Lord Help me. AMEN
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The List!
A friend sent me this list and it was so helpful to know what to do and have to tick them off one by one. Let me say this is my customised list and there can be several additions or subtractions! Its not in any particular order...
I hope it helps you like it helped me!
1. Wedding rings
2. Wedding Dress / Groom’s Suit
3. Veil
4. Stay (that’s if the dress is ball shaped)
5. Shoes (wedding and engagement)
6. Engagement clothes
7. Gele/ Ipele/ fila/ agbada
8. Bags/ Shoes
9. Jewellery
10. Invitation cards
11. Programmes
12. Registry
13. Marriage certificate
14. Decoration
15. Reception
16. Honey moon?
17. Home
18. Furniture
19. Bed
20. Chairs
21. Kitchen utensils (Pots, Pans…)
22. Refrigerator
23. Cooker
24. Toiletry
25. hair do
26. make-up
27. gele
28. Bible
29. Wedding cake
30. Engagement cake
31. Car decorations
32. Bouquet
33. new unmentionables
34. Family planning (depends on your plans, what do you know about this?)
35. facial treatment
36. health (eat well, rest well)
37. MC?
38. Chairman
39. Engagement Letters
40. Music/Band
I hope it helps you like it helped me!
1. Wedding rings
2. Wedding Dress / Groom’s Suit
3. Veil
4. Stay (that’s if the dress is ball shaped)
5. Shoes (wedding and engagement)
6. Engagement clothes
7. Gele/ Ipele/ fila/ agbada
8. Bags/ Shoes
9. Jewellery
10. Invitation cards
11. Programmes
12. Registry
13. Marriage certificate
14. Decoration
15. Reception
16. Honey moon?
17. Home
18. Furniture
19. Bed
20. Chairs
21. Kitchen utensils (Pots, Pans…)
22. Refrigerator
23. Cooker
24. Toiletry
25. hair do
26. make-up
27. gele
28. Bible
29. Wedding cake
30. Engagement cake
31. Car decorations
32. Bouquet
33. new unmentionables
34. Family planning (depends on your plans, what do you know about this?)
35. facial treatment
36. health (eat well, rest well)
37. MC?
38. Chairman
39. Engagement Letters
40. Music/Band
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
A holiday!
Last weekend I decided to take a break. A break from the frenzy of preparing for a wedding, a break from running around and diligently filling my notebook.
I came to work and worked for about 4 hours before receiving a call from an old friend. She came and picked me up and we went out first to eat and then to munch ice-cream and then to pray! All throughout the ride, we talked and laughed and caught up on our lives and what we had been up to in the interim. It was simply fun.
It was lovely being encouraged and listening to words from a wise friend.
We finally ended up at the Unilag Water front and we talked a lot more before we finally prayed together. I started out my Saturday a little grumpy but I felt I was floating on air by the end of the day. It was a lovely day, A HOLIDAY! :)
I came to work and worked for about 4 hours before receiving a call from an old friend. She came and picked me up and we went out first to eat and then to munch ice-cream and then to pray! All throughout the ride, we talked and laughed and caught up on our lives and what we had been up to in the interim. It was simply fun.
It was lovely being encouraged and listening to words from a wise friend.
We finally ended up at the Unilag Water front and we talked a lot more before we finally prayed together. I started out my Saturday a little grumpy but I felt I was floating on air by the end of the day. It was a lovely day, A HOLIDAY! :)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Well not 100, but almost!
I was discussing with a dear friend about how I should keep a journal and pour down all my 'emotions' (I hope not!) as I get ready for marriage!
This is it, hopefully I'll be diligent about filling it but i doubt that...
Anyway, its 108 days left and i'm.... just there!
The last couple of weeks have been a flurry of activities with my GSM bills increasing like they've never done before getting information from friends and vendors for all sorts of things from Catering to Hair, to ... you name it all.
There've been bad days and there've been very good days but I think i'll make this upbeat to encourage other bride-to-be's as they journey down singlehood lane.
So happy reading and hope this helps....
This is it, hopefully I'll be diligent about filling it but i doubt that...
Anyway, its 108 days left and i'm.... just there!
The last couple of weeks have been a flurry of activities with my GSM bills increasing like they've never done before getting information from friends and vendors for all sorts of things from Catering to Hair, to ... you name it all.
There've been bad days and there've been very good days but I think i'll make this upbeat to encourage other bride-to-be's as they journey down singlehood lane.
So happy reading and hope this helps....
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